Drop off

Today was a day that I have dreaded for a while. I've been thinking about asking Dakota if he wants to get dropped off to school from the drop off line- meaning that I stay in the car, while someone else, usually the director, gets him out and sends him on his way into school. By himself.

A lot of the kids, most in fact, in his class come in by themselves, hang their coats up and put their lunch boxes away and I've known for a while, although he has never mentioned it to me, that Dakota is ready to do the same. Me? Not so much.

I talked to him and asked him if he would like to do it, all by himself like a big boy. He was very excited about it and I asked him a few times if he's sure- telling him that he doesn't have to and that I could walk him in like usual. Finally he replied to me, "Don't worry Mommy. I'll give you a hug and a kiss and say goodbye" :( I talked to him over and over about how important it is that he go straight from the car into the school and straight to his class and not to go in any other room or with any adults other than his teachers (the door to the school is only about 25 feet from the car and his classroom is the 3rd door once you walk in). He recited all of this back to me- "Go straight to my class and put my hat in my sleeve and hang my coat up and put my lunch box in the basket."

Of course, I took his picture before we left and in the car seat while waiting in the drop off line. We pulled up and I unbuckled him, put his coat on and Mrs. Debbie opened the door and said, "Hi Dakota. This is your first time in the drop off line..." I said, "Kota, give me some loves" and next thing I know, he was hopping right out- Mrs. Debbie was struggling to keep him from falling out of the truck. So he was on his way, just like that. No hug. No kiss. Not even, "Bye Mommy." I forced out a laugh at how eager he was, when I really felt sad. I know he was so determined to be a big boy and do it the right way- the way we discussed. So determined that he forgot to say bye. He took a few steps away from the truck and I saw him look back, unsure- probably just realized he didn't say goodbye. I wanted to wait for him to get into the school and take a picture of him walking in, but I couldn't hold up the line so I pulled off.  And I cried.

I felt like I dropped him off to Kindergarten. And I know that once he's accomplished it, he's never gonna let me walk him in anymore. But I am proud of him, for being a big boy and not crying. When I was pregnant, everyone said, "Cherish it, because they grow up fast." It seems so cliche, but in reality, it's the best advice I've ever had.